Life Is Hard – How to Stay Strong and Keep Growing
Life isn’t easy — and that’s not a negative statement, it’s just the truth. Bills don’t stop coming. Friendships change. Relationships sometimes end. People you love will hurt you, intentionally or not. Opportunities will slip through your fingers. And there will be days when you wonder if you’re even on the right path.
But here’s something most people don’t fully grasp: it’s not the hard moments themselves that shape you — it’s how you respond to them. The strongest, happiest people in the world aren’t living problem-free lives. They’ve just learned how to face challenges without letting those challenges define them.
Why “Poor Me” Mode Pushes People Away
Let me give you two examples.
At the beginning of the year, a girl at my gym asked if I had deleted my social media. I told her no — I had deleted certain people from my life. And yes, she was one of them. She barely comes to the gym, but when she does, she’s in full-on “crying poor me” mode. Every conversation is about how unfair life is, how everything’s against her, and how nothing ever goes right.
That kind of energy is draining. It clings to you. And the more time you spend around it, the more it starts to feel like your own.
Then there’s my mom — who I love deeply — but she often falls into the same pattern. She talks about hating her job, being a “horrible human,” or wishing the world would end. She wonders why my siblings distance themselves, but it’s because constant hopelessness is hard to be around. You can love someone and still need space from their negativity.
The truth? People naturally pull away from energy that weighs them down. And if you’re not careful, you can be that person without even realizing it.
Related Read: Stop Being Afraid and Take the Chance – Fear keeps us from growing, and it’s often the first thing to overcome when life gets tough.
Everyone Has Problems — But Not Everyone Handles Them the Same
Think about the most inspiring people you know. Do they have perfect lives? No. They’ve simply made the decision to approach their challenges differently.
Two people can face the exact same situation — a breakup, job loss, health scare, or betrayal — and one will become bitter, while the other will become better. The difference isn’t luck or privilege. The difference is perspective and effort.
You can either:
- Dwell on everything that’s wrong and invite more negativity into your life.
- Or, face the situation head-on, decide what’s within your control, and take steps to change it.
Also Read: 5 Steps to Personal Growth Blueprint – Your mindset is your foundation, and this guide helps you strengthen it.
The Energy You Bring Shapes the Life You Live
Energy is contagious. If you carry yourself with hopelessness, you’ll keep attracting hopeless situations. If you walk into a room with bitterness, you’ll attract bitter people.
This isn’t just “positive thinking fluff” — psychology backs it up. Studies show that your mindset influences how you interpret events, the opportunities you notice, and the connections you make (source).
The people you enjoy being around most likely:
- Offer encouragement instead of complaints.
- Look for solutions instead of problems.
- Handle setbacks with perspective instead of panic.
You can be that kind of person too — but it requires a choice, daily.
Helpful Resource: The Power of Resilience – APA – Learn how to bounce back when life knocks you down.
How to Break Free from “Poor Me” Mode
Breaking free from the cycle of self-pity isn’t about ignoring pain or pretending everything’s fine. It’s about reclaiming your power.
Here’s how to start:
1. Recognize your patterns
Ask yourself honestly: Do I complain more than I act? Do my conversations revolve around what’s wrong instead of what’s possible? Self-awareness is the first step toward change.
2. Surround yourself with positivity
Limit time with energy-draining people — even if they’re family. That doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you care enough about yourself to protect your peace.
Also Read: How to Manifest Your Soulmate – Yes, this applies to friendships and personal circles too.
3. Take responsibility
Life isn’t always fair, but blaming others leaves you powerless. The sooner you own your choices, the sooner you can change them.
4. Focus on solutions, not problems
Instead of “Why me?” ask “What’s my next step?” Even the smallest action builds momentum.
5. Practice gratitude daily
Gratitude doesn’t erase hardship, but it rewires your brain to see possibility. Keep a journal. Write one good thing every day. You’ll notice a shift.
Gratitude Journal Inspiration: How to Start a Gratitude Practice
Life Will Test You — That’s the Point
Here’s the reality:
- You will face heartbreak.
- You will face loss.
- You will face days when you want to quit.
But growth doesn’t come from an easy life. Growth comes from struggle. Every setback is a chance to learn, to build resilience, and to discover strength you didn’t know you had.
You can either let life’s challenges make you bitter, or you can let them make you better. You can either stay stuck in “poor me” mode, or you can stand up, take a deep breath, and say: This is hard, but I’m harder to break.
Yes, life is hard. But how you deal with it? That’s the difference between just surviving and truly living.
Final Takeaway: Your story isn’t written by the hard things you’ve been through — it’s written by the way you rise after them. Stop waiting for the world to feel sorry for you. Start creating the version of yourself that inspires others to keep going.
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Kiersti writes on self-love and personal development professionally. Over the past ten or so years, she has studied self-love and personal growth. Visit https://womansdailyneeds.com/ to learn more about what she does, and like her on Facebook at https://facebook.com/womansdailyneeds to keep up with her.